Friday, August 11, 2017

Not how I wake up

This is NOT a picture of a mom waking up - just in case you were wondering... Or at least this is definitely NOT how I wake up in the morning, and I'm not talking about a bed with stuffed animals or a cat stretching - although I don't have those in my bed currently - I'm talking about the fact that this person woke up AFTER the sun rose and so is in a great mood - ready for an adventurous day!

Pre-parenthood I was able to sleep that long - I could sleep for hours! My husband, the early morning riser that he is usually considered me to "sleep the day away" on the weekends that I slept in till 10am. I never really understood what he was talking about because I was night owl, but now - having early morning risers for kids - I completely understand what he was talking about - 10 am is LATE!! Especially when you realize they wake up so early that 11am is their lunch time, and 12pm is nap time (sometimes things get pushed back 30-60 min, but sometimes you pay for pushing things back).

And the whole "ready for adventure" part, well I usually wake up ready for a fun-filled day, however kids are like the weather - you can have a forecast of what to expect and how you think the day is going to go - but like a meteorologist you're usually only correct 1/2 the time at best, because 1 little thing can cause your "sunny fun-filled day" to suddenly become a hurricane! And you think "where did this come from?!" And usually it's the moon, or is the issue of waking up on the wrong side of the bed, or just waking up - don't they know they SHOULD sleep later?!

No, a real mom (at least me) is either pushed awake (so they can get up and get a shower before daddy leaves for work - because the kids are already up) or a child screams "Momma! Momma!! Momma!!!" repeatedly as they sit on your head... And this is while daddy attempts to let Mommy sleep in, but since daddy is outnumbered the kids divide and conquer!

This makes me think I should come up with a "Truth: Parents Edition" tear-of calendar so that all parents know they aren't the only ones who wake up because a child has crawled on top of their head. It could be a calendar you get friends who are thinking of starting their own family - so they too can look forward to these "special" moments. Or you could give it to friends who aren't sure if they're ready for kids - after 10 days of this tear-off calendar they'd know! This would be perfect for friends who don't want kids - not only could you show them all the fun they'll miss out on, but it could reinforce their stance. It would be perfect for the grandparents - so they can remember WHY your children really do behave better when kept to their schedule, or not fed so much junk food, etc. You could also give it to teenagers as a form of birth control - if you don't protect yourself this could be you! And I could be a millionaire - if I ever get a chance to make it!

But until then I will be counting some of the days, attempting to make the all days count, while time flies by - because that is Parenthood...

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Summer Break, Day 6: Before 8:30am

Yesterday we were in the 7th level of hell, but amazingly they both got all their evil out and this morning it's been amazing, like seriously AMAZING! Who knew that kids who couldn't stop whining, screaming, yelling, arguing, showing absolute contempt for everyone around them one day could go to sleep and wake up as angels the next?!
She drove him around
Yesterday I was ready to put both these kids out in front of the house with a sign around their necks that said "free"
He drove her around
But look at them today!! They're playing with each other! And not just that, they're riding around on the same plasma car!! I can't get rid of these kids now!
They worked together to make this picture
Ok, I wasn't really going to get rid of them, because these types of days happen occasionally - but we always have at least 1 transition day between the bad days and good days...they must've secretly known that Mommy needed a good day instead of a transitionally decent day...or at least that was the case before I decided to take my life in my hands and agree to give them a bath together... That's when the day started on a downward spiral. What was I thinking?!
The Monkey was very proud of his beach picture
Now I'm going to chance it again - once the screaming/arguing bath time ends - we're going to the grocery store!! Wish me luck, wish me luck.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Summer Break, Day 5: The leg

This leg. Now it might look like a normal fully functioning leg to you, but it is the cause of SO many problems today. We think he is either sore from riding his bike yesterday or he pulled a muscle in his thigh, but we're not sure, all that is known for sure is: he CANNOT walk. Like he's pretty sure he broke it - which is his "go-to problem" when something hurts. He's now crawling around the house because he is unable to walk...unfortunately his aliment is starting to affect his sister - who has started to crawl around the house too. YAY SUMMER BREAK! 

What I haven't told you, which is vital information, is that this incapacity to walk is affecting all other aspects of his personality - he's basically got the "toddler man cold" - which means he's unable to do anything by himself, which includes treating people with respect and kindness... Because of this, by 9am he was in his room enjoying some quality time with himself, because honestly no one else volunteered to spend time with him (and by "no one else" I mean the Munchkin and/or I).

Also he did tell me we couldn't do anything fun today since he can't walk... I thought maybe we could watch a movie, but with the attitude and behavior he's pulling, I just can't seem to "reward" his behavior - even though I know he's not feeling great. But hitting people and screaming in their faces because you don't feel good is not acceptable behavior. So for now, he's in his room playing and the Munchkin and I are downstairs playing... But hey, on the "bright side", at least it's supposed to rain today so it's not like we're wasting a day inside when we should be out... Thanks to the Monkey we can now be miserable together inside, because did I tell you the Munchkin is teething so is super whiney as well. So again I say "YAY!! SUMMEE BREAK!" 

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Tantrums: seen through the eyes of a mom

Every child will tell you that throwing tantrums are necessary - that they're the only ways to showcase their frustrations, air their grievances, make their points, fight "the man" (their parents), and that tantrums correct the undesirable outcome that had been given. Now your child might not say it so eloquently - they might not even know the exact reason they are throwing a tantrum at the time, but in time it will come out and you'll suddenly understand why your child (whether they're a toddler or a 5+ yr old) is acting like a crazed lunatic.

Parents, on the other hand, usually have no clue WHY their child is suddenly throwing themselves around on the floor while screaming like they are being skinned alive. We usually find out after the fact, sometimes it's just because they don't have all the words yet and so we have to piece things together, but sometimes they just get so worked up they can't talk without releasing.

This morning my son decided to throw a 30 min tantrum - it started at 6:47 am, which is MUCH to early for a tantrum to be thrown, let alone a 30 minute tantrum!
My impersonation of throwing a tantrum
It started because he had his class picture that he was waving around in his sister's face. (I mean seriously, if you had a class picture you would totally be doing that as well!) His class picture came in a cardboard "frame" of sorts that had 2 small pieces that popped out to make a stand (you see where I'm going right?!). He decided to hold onto those little thin strips of cardboard and wave the picture around. I did warn him they would tear if that was the only part he held, so I'll let you guess what happened. If you guessed that the thin strips tore you'd be correct! He was very upset and I told him I would fix it after everyone got breakfast, but then he demanded I fix it
 "RIGHT NOW!!" and fixing it at a later time was NOT acceptable.
Yeah, that was my look when he gave his demand... Because everyone knows when you demand something from me that's pretty much the one way to guarantee I won't do something. But if you demand something during a tantrum it's like a nail in the coffin, that whatever you're demanding will never get done. (Yes I'm a tad stubborn/hardheaded and it is something I'm working on - not being so stubborn/hardheaded...) But today 5 minutes into the tantrum he DEMANDED - I was in the middle of getting breakfast together and lunch made (I'll let you guess as to how that went)...
Yeah, I just let him continue with his tantrumming, because he wasn't listening and he didn't want to hear my answer - I did try to talk, but was screamed over, so I did what ANY good parent would do - I banned him from the kitchen. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to listen - no problem, but we didn't want to listen to screaming.
The tantrum, screaming, and demands had now been going on for 10 min - he had moved into the livingoom - I have to say I was impressed with his dedication to making his point.
15 min in and the Munchkin was busy eating sauces and playing, lunch was packed, I enjoyed a bowl of cereal, and breakfast was sitting out for the Monkey...
20 min and I was wondering why I hadn't made coffee, because this morning I could've actually sat and enjoyed a cup before school drop-off! I usually wait till I come home because before school is kinda crazy and I don't really drink the coffee for the caffeine, it's more for the taste.
25 min and I was done. I mean it's one thing when your toddler or other aged child who doesn't have the words and who is unable to express themselves throws a tantrum over nothing, it's another thing when it's a child who CAN express themselves, but chooses not to. Thankfully it was only another 5 minutes before he calmed down and walked back in the kitchen - like nothing happened!! Oh and in case you're wondering, yes, his class picture was fixed during that tantrum, but he never once mentioned it once he walked into the kitchen! That wasn't the only tantrum today, but it is the only one you have to hear about... today.
Don't worry, I did get my coffee after I dropped him off at school... It tasted great!

Friday, June 9, 2017

Buyer's remorse

At the age of 5, the Monkey has learned all about buyer's remorse! He had some money, and like half the people in the world he was in desperate need to spend the money in his pocket! The simple idea of "saving" his money was as foreign to him as discovering the intricacies of how a computer functions (or leaning a foreign language, or any other thing that you can't comprehend in the slightest). We worked with him on saving his money, and I will say, he did save it for about a month (which is like 5yrs to a 5yr old) but then the itch came back and he couldn't concentrate on anything except spending his money. He even knew EXACTLY what he wanted to buy - a remote control motorcycle like he had bought for a classmate for his birthday. (Because we all know, when you but a gift for someone else it's usually something that you really want... At least when you're a kid.)

So daddy and he made a special trip to the store to see if they still had the remote control motorcycle, or something else just as desirable. And guess what?! They had it!! So home they came with one super excited and happy 5yr old!
They got it out of the box, put batteries in, and then it was time to test that bad boy out! He loved it! He drove it around before he had to go to bed, and the next morning he woke up and drove it some more - before it was time for school. He even taught all of us - including his little sister - how to drive it around and gave us all turns!

He got home from school and was eager to play with it some more, and again gave us turns. The evening rolled around and bedtime came and it was a ROUGH night for him so unfortunately he lost his "prized possession" for 24hrs.
This morning, when he got his toy back though, it wasn't excitement that he was feeling as he started driving it around the house - it was remorse at spending his money on this toy that wasn't really a true motorcycle - because those only have 2 wheels and this one has 4. He was EXTREMELY upset that 1- he couldn't just return it to the store and get what he really wanted, and 2- he couldn't take it back to the store and get his money back.

He was so upset he did what some people do - he blamed someone else (daddy) for his own poor choice, saying that daddy wouldn't let him get the one he really wanted... He in fact daddy basically forced him to get this one. (Different wording but that was his meaning after all his rambling.) But personal responsibility? Nope! It wasn't HIS fault at all, and just to prove it, daddy should buy him the motorcycle that he really wanted. (Do you know how hard it was to finish taking my shower without laughing - because yes! All of this happened this morning as I showered and he sat outside the shower talking, whining, and crying about this horrible crime that had been committed against him.)

But this was serious business... It's pretty much the equivalent of buying a car from a slimy used car salesman - you know going in for a nice little 2 seater sports car and instead leaving with a used minivan that you overpaid for... That is pretty much the situation he found himself in this morning...and since that was the situation he found himself in you can only imagine what the situation was like that we found ourselves in!

Thankfully we were somehow able to move beyond the fact that he was 1- stuck with this wannabe motorcycle and that he could actually have fun with it if he chose to, 2-he didn't have to be stuck with it and he could give it away to a child who would absolutely love this wannabe motorcycle... Either way it was his choice... But we were in fact able to move beyond that and listen to Christmas music and forget all or troubles, at least for a little while.

Being 5 is TOUGH, y'all don't even understand! ;)

Who knows, maybe next time he gets money we can remind him of this and he'll be able to learn from his own experience... Then again maybe we'll go through this exact same scenario a few more times before he learns. Either way, I hope next time it's not something I have to fix while showering, only time will tell. Ah, the life of a parent!

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A Pink Bike Brings Drama

Yesterday GG noticed that the Munchkin was enjoying "walking" the Monkey's bike around and that she didn't have one of her own. (I will say this "walking of the bike" is something she just started to do 3 days ago which is why she didn't have a balance bike yet) being a grandma and wanting to make a grandchild happy she bought the Munchkin her very own balance bike. (And we do thank you.)
The bike arrived on our doorstep today and I honestly don't think it could be any pinker, unless of course they come out with pink tires! But until that moment comes I'd like to announce that my child had the pinkest bike in the whole world!
The person who decided that this was the perfect color for a bike had to have been addicted to Pepto Bismol and decided that it would be the perfect color for a bike. I think he (this British man) also decided that it would be an excellent indoor wall paint color (the first house we lived at in England had a wall painted this exact.same.color. Why the home owner used that color I have NO idea, but they did.) (And yes I think it was a man that decided this was a good color because if a bike needs to be pink - you know, so people know from a distance if it's a female bike rider or male bike rider - make it the brightest and most annoying pink color ever... Because apparently it's a very important thing to know - whether the person riding the bike is male or female.)
But a pink Pepto Bismol bike the munchkin received (and we are appreciative of the bike even though it's pink. Lol), and she was a little bit unsure of it at first - not because of the color (although​ that would've been amazing) but because the bar is situated a little higher than her brother's bike so it was a little harder to "walk" this bike (remember she's only been walking bikes for part of 3 days so it's all still new to her).
The fearless Munchkin gave it a go and she seemed to maneuver it around without too much trouble... Give her some time and she'll be flying around on it.
However I knew that there was going to be a big hurdle because even though I abhor the color pink there is one person in our family who loves pink - the Monkey (you might recall he has a pink CD player and a pink tent for his bed). And the issue comes into play because he has a red bike (his bike did not come in an option for pink, not that we would've gotten pink for him still, because it's just not a color I will ever choose no matter the sex of a child)... But back to the story - I let him know, on the walk home from school, about how GG and Lee Lee bought the Munchkin a bike (which he was happy about), and how it was pink (which he was not happy about), and how he could help teach Parker to balance on her bike (he was happy to help), and how she could share this bike with him - that he wasn't too heavy for it (which he was pretty darn excited about - I mean it's PINK!!! for goodness sakes!)...
But hearing about a pink bike and actually seeing your favorite shade of pink (he loved our bedroom with the Pepto Bismol wall) on your sister's bike are 2 different things. And so he complained about how it wasn't fair that she got a pink bike when he only has a red bike! And how pink is his favorite color and how the Munchkin doesn't even like pink because yellow is probably her favorite color! So because she doesn't like pink they should be able to switch bikes - she could have his red bike and he could have her pink bike - so everyone was happy!

Thankfully the afternoon didn't stay there long. Thankfully the Munchkin got on the red plasma car and started driving around and she let the Monkey ride her pink bike... So in the end everyone was happy. Here's hoping we don't have to buy another pink bike - so they have matching bikes... I don't need that much Pepto Bismol in my life!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Becoming my mom

The older I get the more I become my mom. It's a fact. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it except fight the genes, but really that's a very tiring thing to do and there's still NO guarantee that it will halt the inevitable. Don't get me wrong - it's nothing bad, it's nothing serious, it's just in my genes to do or say things and then think "oh my Lord, that's my mom!!"
Now don't get me wrong, it's not something surprising or even unexpected...and it's not even something that's just recently happened, nope this occurrence has been happening probably since the day of my birth. But since having kids and getting older it's been happening more and more - I now say things and think "Oh hello Ellen!" Or "Yeah, that's definitely something mom would say!" 
What do I mean by this? Well, the other day when I bumped into a friend in the grocery store and said we were talking about dinner and food in general I said something to the effect of "I'm not sure what we're doing for dinner, but I got flowers and that's the most important thing right?!" which isn't something I've necessarily heard my mom say, but if you know her then you could totally hear her saying something like that at some point. There are more examples, but like my mother I can't remember them right now!
But back to my flowers and my mom, and really the whole reason for this post, tonight as I sat looking at my flowers (in different rooms) I thought "These flowers make me happy!"and then the very next thought - that had me laughing was - "and there's my mini Ellen!"