Friday, August 11, 2017

Not how I wake up

This is NOT a picture of a mom waking up - just in case you were wondering... Or at least this is definitely NOT how I wake up in the morning, and I'm not talking about a bed with stuffed animals or a cat stretching - although I don't have those in my bed currently - I'm talking about the fact that this person woke up AFTER the sun rose and so is in a great mood - ready for an adventurous day!

Pre-parenthood I was able to sleep that long - I could sleep for hours! My husband, the early morning riser that he is usually considered me to "sleep the day away" on the weekends that I slept in till 10am. I never really understood what he was talking about because I was night owl, but now - having early morning risers for kids - I completely understand what he was talking about - 10 am is LATE!! Especially when you realize they wake up so early that 11am is their lunch time, and 12pm is nap time (sometimes things get pushed back 30-60 min, but sometimes you pay for pushing things back).

And the whole "ready for adventure" part, well I usually wake up ready for a fun-filled day, however kids are like the weather - you can have a forecast of what to expect and how you think the day is going to go - but like a meteorologist you're usually only correct 1/2 the time at best, because 1 little thing can cause your "sunny fun-filled day" to suddenly become a hurricane! And you think "where did this come from?!" And usually it's the moon, or is the issue of waking up on the wrong side of the bed, or just waking up - don't they know they SHOULD sleep later?!

No, a real mom (at least me) is either pushed awake (so they can get up and get a shower before daddy leaves for work - because the kids are already up) or a child screams "Momma! Momma!! Momma!!!" repeatedly as they sit on your head... And this is while daddy attempts to let Mommy sleep in, but since daddy is outnumbered the kids divide and conquer!

This makes me think I should come up with a "Truth: Parents Edition" tear-of calendar so that all parents know they aren't the only ones who wake up because a child has crawled on top of their head. It could be a calendar you get friends who are thinking of starting their own family - so they too can look forward to these "special" moments. Or you could give it to friends who aren't sure if they're ready for kids - after 10 days of this tear-off calendar they'd know! This would be perfect for friends who don't want kids - not only could you show them all the fun they'll miss out on, but it could reinforce their stance. It would be perfect for the grandparents - so they can remember WHY your children really do behave better when kept to their schedule, or not fed so much junk food, etc. You could also give it to teenagers as a form of birth control - if you don't protect yourself this could be you! And I could be a millionaire - if I ever get a chance to make it!

But until then I will be counting some of the days, attempting to make the all days count, while time flies by - because that is Parenthood...

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